Why You Need to Change Your Story

Life meets you right where you are.  It unfolds in exactly the way you think about your life, your self, your story.  It can never be any other way.

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I’m reading Gabrielle Bernstein’s new book The Universe Has Your Back when I had an AHA moment and it hit me why I’m still holding back, why I haven’t totally let go and broke out of the small hidden place I’m keeping myself in, even though I really want to.   It’s because of the story i’ve been telling myself about my story.  The words that I’ve been using have kept me hidden, small and afraid.

I’ve been telling myself the same story, about my story, for so long that I didn’t even realize or hear the words I was telling myself.  They were there every time I started to write creating a block I couldn’t get past. It’s too hard, it’s so heavy, I don’t want to go there, I can’t, I’m afraid, it’s too emotional… this has been my foundation and has been what has kept me from a lot of things, not just writing.  With those words I kept myself stuck and didn’t know it.  These words I’m telling myself have kept me from believing in myself, loving myself, having faith, seeing a beautiful miraculous world. This story has ruled and regulated and shaped every moment of my life.

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The story I’ve been telling myself doesn’t even belong to me, it belongs to my mother, those are her words her beliefs about life. These are the words that I heard my mother speak every day from the day I was born – suffered, hard work, starved, where was God? No there is no God, I’m afraid, life is hard… These are the words that permeated into my very being, into every cell in my body.  I didn’t understand what they mean when I was a child, but I felt  my mothers pain in them.  They stuck in me and I took them and I made them my own.

And of course my mother had every right to speak them and hold them, they described the horrors she lived every day in the hells of concentration camps. But they are not my words, I didn’t live and survive the Holocaust, she did. I can listen, I can sympathize, I can cry, I can feel the emotional, I can love her… But I wasn’t there in the physical, I didn’t live through the horrors and I can’t claim those words as my own.

In making them my own, I’ve been living my mothers story not mine.  This doesn’t mean that I’m denying my story, it’s as much a part of me as my right arm, it’s my history, my legacy, my ancestors, and I carry an obligation with it.  But, if I want to live an extraordinary life I have to give myself an extraordinary story, one that belongs to me and honors me.  One that will uplift and empower me, strengthen and elevate me and support me to live my life in glory.

Life responds in kind, the thoughts that we put out is the life that we get to live.  And so I’m changing my story (the one that I’m telling myself) about my story.

How about you?  Do you have a story you maybe need to change? Feel free to leave a comment below, and feel free to share this blog post.

Blessings

COPYRIGHT MASHA G. ELLMAN 2017

Lets Get Real…

“The beauty that is within you cannot be contained…it will be reflected without; let it shine forth.” ~ Eileen Caddy

One of the hardest things for me has been to open up about myself and write about me. Oh I can talk very easily and tell someone about myself, no problem.  And at times even disclose secret things, but when it comes to writing them something happens to me, I freeze, I block, I can’t seem to get the words from inside to flow out to the page in the same way that I can get the words to flow out from my mouth.

I don’t know why that is, well I do. Mostly it’s because before I even start writing I’m judging, deleting, editing, criticizing every word before I even let it come into my consciousness if that’s possible.

Purple 2.jpegAnother reason stems from my childhood. My parents were both holocaust survivors, and from a very young age my father would warn me every single day not to tell anyone anything about me or my family. If anyone asks he would warn me, tell them “you don’t know” – These words made me hide myself away afraid to let anyone see the real me, “I don’t know” became my mantra for my life. My father passed away when I was thirteen years old, but his stern warning has stayed with me my entire life.

And then there is of course Miss Perfectionist at work here.  I worry over what people will think, how they will perceive me and that stops my words from flowing.  Instead, my writing becomes stiff, doesn’t sound like me and is laced with high fluting words that I probably would not use in normal every day conversation and this all because I want to look and sound intelligent and interesting and brilliant and clever… on paper.

Knowing all this has not made a difference, I’m still stumped and freeze and can’t write about me, my story, from my heart.

Pink summer flowers.jpegSo I decided to commit to myself and practice writing about ME every day.  Practice opening up, taking myself out of the way and allowing my divine inner self out.

I keep on thinking about what Anne Lamott says in her book Bird by Bird about the need to let go and write those “shitty first drafts” how we need to have those (and I’ll probably have lots of those) to gain clarity into our second and third drafts.  And for me a way to remove those blocks and get to the space of brilliance within.

So this is a start towards a more deeper conversation here, and a deeper more real blog. It may not happen every week, but I hope you’ll join in on the conversation and let me know how it makes you feel.

I’m getting real!

Blessings

COPYRIGHT MASHA G. ELLMAN 2017

Take In Beauty Everyday

There’s beauty and magic all around us in the everyday ordinary things, but often we fall into our daily business and we don’t notice the simple things right in front of us that hold magic locked inside them.

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You are a magical being and you have natural creative abilities that you can access to create a sweeter life everyday.  For me just a simple thing as stopping for a moment and taking a photograph with my cell phone of a tree that catches my eye, a flower that’s on display at the supermarket , noticing the pavement I’m stepping on, or a sign that captures my attention – just the act of stopping and snapping a photo, elevates my energy, makes me feel happy and changes my whole day.

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Unlock the beauty that surrounds you and give yourself a treat, a gift each day of creativity and inspiration.  You don’t have to be a professional photographer, or a creative anything to find a moment to stop and rest in beauty. It will elevate your mood and elevate your energy.  When I’m in that moment I’m totally alone inside myself, as if nothing else exists.

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You will create more balance and harmony in your life when you stop and pay attention to the nature around you.  Make a conscious decision to become aware of your surroundings and find at least one thing each day that calls to you, and you will be amazed at the wonders you’ll discover.

Start your day with this intention, look around you see what jumps out at you, there’s beauty everywhere.  Tune into your intuition and allow it to guide you, you will get that feeling that says YES LOOK STOP.  Embrace that moment of wonder that the universe is pouring out to you.  Whatever it is that you notice, take a moment and thank it for being available for you.  Snap a photo if you want to.  Write a few words, or hold it in your imagination.

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And you know what they say, practice makes perfect.  With every day that you will honor your creative energy, and be tuned into your intuition, you will notice that you’re automatically tuning into the nature and the wonder of this mystery.  This photo of tulips on sale at the supermarket was my bliss today, it put a smile on my face for the rest of the day, how gorgeous is this?

So bring some enchantment into your everyday,  get creative, get inspired, every day find a moment of beauty to rest into, let it capture your imagination and warm your heart.

I invite you to come and join in and share your everyday sweet beauty here in the comments below.  And feel free to share this blog post.

Beauty Blessings

COPYRIGHT MASHA G. ELLMAN 2017

Making Real What You Really Really Want

When you have figured out what it is that you really really want…

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Than invite commitment into your life and go after your ‘want’ with intention and determination.   Don’t just leave it lay for later or for tomorrow or for when after you read another book, take another class.  For when you will deserve it or lose 50 pounds.  Honor your ‘want’ now.  The more you commit and make the time for what you want, keep it in the front of your mind, see it inside of you, f e e l  it.  The more you think about it, write about it, dream it – the more the universe will put magical things along your way for your ‘want’ to become a reality.

When you really really know what it is that you want and you take action towards it, even small steps (and every step counts), when what you want is for your highest good and that of everyone else, than the entire universe will conspire to bring your ‘want’ into reality.

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You’ll see words or hear a conversation, or a song that will hold just the right message  that you needed to know right now.  Synchronicities will be abound.  Doors will open in places where you never knew they existed, the universe will arrange that.  The more you bring what you want into view into your mind into your sphere, the more solid your ‘want’ will become the more chance it has of manifesting.  You’re talking it, writing it, thinking it into being a reality and you need to do this without fear and complete trust and faith and belief that it is already so.  Every time you have doubt you’re pushing it away from you and every time you have love and faith and a sense of yes for it you’re bringing it closer to you.

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So yes, find out what it is you really really want and bring it to life, bring it forward.

Give thanks in advance for already having it, envision yourself in it, owning it, being inside of it, deserving it.  Go after it with determination and a willingness and openness to receive your ‘want’ because the magic of it all is that it already exists in the ethereal.  It is already so.  It’s already a part of you – your ‘want’ is just waiting for you to meet up with it.

So what are you doing to meet your ‘want’ into reality?  Let us know, love to hear.  And feel free to share this blog.

Grateful Blessings

COPYRIGHT MASHA G. ELLMAN 2017

Every Day We Can…

Every day is a new day to open our imagination, to invite our creativity, to mesmerize ourselves with the beauty that surrounds us – to be inspired.

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Every day is an opportunity to bless the world we live in, to bless someone, to bless ourself.

Every day we stand in the glory of our own majesty and we can open the doorway to the wisdom and the magic and the miracles that surround us, they will show up if we open our heart to them and expect them.

Every day invites us to look, smell, to find, to be our own authentic selves.

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Every day we stand empowered at the helm of new opportunities.  Everyday we stand at the edge of a new beginning where the world is laid out at our feet waiting for us to pick up our desires, our dreams, our wants, our needs, what we crave.

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Every day we can say YES to the rhythm that wants to unfold.  To our own inner gifts that we’ve been given.  Every day we can stand in the power of our own truth and honor who we came here to be.

Every day we choose how we want , what we want, what we give, what we receive.  Every day we decide fear, love, hate, jealousy, generosity.  We can believe, trust, surrender, forgive, be happy…  Every day we decide if we want to honor our bodies, our mind and our spirit and nourish ourselves with healthy choices.

Every day we can open the gateway and take the first step that starts a new journey.  We can create a new vision, we can invite the mystery in, we can live in grace.

Every day we can empower ourselves, we can know that we are the power of our own imagination – unravel our own self, break down our walls.  Every day we can open up, allow our higher self, follow our own intuition and say YES – YES – to our blessed glorious lives…YES. YES. YES.

What are you saying YES to today?  Leave a comment, share your yes here, love to chat and please feel free to share this post.

Every day blessings

COPYRIGHT MASHA G. ELLMAN 2017

 

An Afternoon in Downtown El Paso, TX

I had such a great time today with my son and granddaughter, we went to downtown El Paso  to walk around and I was able to take pictures.  I want to learn street photography and so this is my first attempt at it.   I love the downtown area, love the energy, love the look, love the people,  I love to look at all the merchandise out in front of the stores as you walking by and I love the buildings.

The Plaza hotel in downtown El Paso is a true example of Art Deco 1920 style.  It was built for the Hilton Hotel chain.  This was the eight hotel in the Hilton chain and was considered a luxury hotel.

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A little modern mixed in with the old.  There are many beautiful more modern buildings around.

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Street shot.  It was difficult to take these shots because the streets were crowded today since it’s Sunday and I felt a bit awkward doing it. (need to get used to this)  And now looking at my photos I know what I want to shoot next time.

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The Camino Real Hotel opened in 1912 and its lobby was known as “the million-dollar lobby” because of all the gold leaf and pink marble.

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I love the art work here on the gates, the store closed, went out of business.

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All I heard was Spanish and it really took me back to when I was a child living in Colombia and going to the stores with my mother, and also took me back to the Bronx, she would have loved walking here today.  I felt her with me the whole time.

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This caught my eyes.  Our Lady of Guadalupe who came to me in a dream five years ago and is in my heart, and bear, my animal spirit guide, right in front of the entrance to a store.

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Mayoreo means wholesale.

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I couldn’t get a better shot of this poster inside a store window.  El Paso 104 years ago.  It was considered “bustling and dynamic” “with impressive buildings and a thriving business district.”

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And in the end we enjoyed a fantastic meal at the Pot au Feu Restaurant.  Hummus & Naan, Caesar salad, grilled veggie sandwich, lamb burger and chicken nuggets with french fries.  Delicious.

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Of course when I got home I was exhausted and I took a 2 hour nap.

Feel free to share, leave a comment, love to chat with you.

Blessings from El Paso.

COPYRIGHT MASHA G. ELLMAN 2017